DECEPTION OF PERCEPTION

Dimension is low – no 3D glow,

Illusions of vision – perception is different.

That stranger is too close; I need to feel some space,

My brain feels too busy, longing for my own pace.

Seeing the world through strange vision and colour,

For some there is black, for some there is blue.

How special we are, never doubt yourself now,

Always be true to you.

Something maybe closer than it looks,
These facts are not written in the books.

Find out for ourselves with frustration and pain,

But be kind to yourself and your dignity will remain.

Shades of light are too dark then too bright,

The mirror is too close and the heat burns my eyes.

But don’t be fooled though; I am still cool,

And I am still smart and wise.

You know my faith is as strong as the vast blue skies.

Niki De Lara – July 2017 💗                                               

FEELING GOOD (Beauty & Cosmetics)

For those who love their make up (like myself), it’s been a long journey since my diagnosis and operations to finding a product that I can wear on my eyes for even just 2 hours. Firstly, I found this strange as I’m one of these ladies who just loves beauty products. I didn’t wear any make up on my eyes for 2 years after my first eye operation. Not leading up to the op either, as I was using 4 different eye drops all day. I struggle with applying eye make-up now as I’m blind in my right eye so I can’t see to apply it properly to my left eye! 😨 This was a miserable realisation! 😒Add that to not knowing what to apply or how to take it off ended up in nothing at all.

So I just concentrated on lipsticks and nails and blushers. I always wear dark prescription sunglasses everywhere so it didn’t seem to matter anymore. All the eye make-up went in the bin and I avoided even looking at it in shops. Many people have told me my eyes are beautiful without make-up and I began to tell myself that too.☺

Time went on and I started to research which brands there could be a possibility of using. I’d given my eyes a rest, so I thought maybe time to experiment using my patience. With some help from a few good friends and a few support group conversations over the topic, I discovered that pure coconut oil was the best eye make-up remover and it really IS. ☺

I researched into vegan eye make-up, chemical free, organic eye make-up, sensitive eyes and was pleased to discover that I could now wear for a couple of hours “Almay” mascara ☺ and eye shadow by “Pacifica” which I discovered on an excellent website called “Love Lula”.❤ This eye shadow is made from natural minerals and is formulated without talc, parabens, petroleum, etc. 😐 😱 It was a delight when I had the “me” time to apply these. I could keep them on for about 2 hours. Very pleased with the results. It’s only saved for special occasions and my day to day is my dark glasses and one of my many lipsticks. But it felt great finding that freedom after having to make such drastic changes.

Never doubt yourself by sudden limitations placed before you. Always try try try with all your strength and faith to make the best of everything you have in the most positive way you can. We are all individuals but sometimes we need a little help and guidance and I hope I’ve given you some inspiration here.☺

Niki De Lara – July 2017 💗

STAYING HEALTHY (Physical & Spiritual)

Strength and Self-Esteem

One of the things that having glaucoma with sight loss has given me is strength. To have been able to get through what I have, I have discovered a strength and faith I never knew I had. There are many questions I ask only myself in my brain; indeed, some negative, but I don’t beat myself up over them! For what will be will be and we cannot go back in time. It’s only natural to suddenly question everything. I’m not ashamed to say that when I was told I would need an operation on my right eye one of my first thoughts and questions was “Will I look different?” 👾

This is because I’ve always taken care of my appearance. I’ve always enjoyed the vast beauty products we have such a great choice of. I’ve been fortunate enough to have done some modelling with great photographers with a lot of photos with healthy made up eyes. 👀

So I’ve done the best I possibly can to maintain self-esteem, a beauty regime and taking supplements to keep healthy and feeling good. ☺

I’ve listed a few things here which I hope will help any of you with taking care of yourself and your personal self-esteem, which is essential for good health. I just wish to share a few things that have helped me.

The one way to make having this disease positive is to help others. 💗

1) Keep your eyes as healthy as you possibly can with the help of: -

• Fresh air.
• Adequate rest and sleep.
• Limiting time on computers and watching TV (this can be frustrating!) 😡
• Close your eyes and listen to music that you love. 🎶 Proper eye rest! 😏
•  A good healthy diet with lots of fresh food and vitamin supplements,(wherever possible).
• Moderate exercise regularly.
• Meditation and relaxation to alleviate worry, anxiety and stress.

Stress is actually one of the common causes of eye pressure rise, if the eyes are already weak. 😠 It’s very easy in this busy world to never stop or rest, but the immune system can be easily weakened, so it’s important to keep as healthy as your time and budget allow and to try to keep nasty viruses away: for example bad colds & flu, shingles and conjunctivitis. 😢

2) Keep out of very bright sunlight and always wear dark glasses. 😎 Avoid very bright glare and strange lighting.

3) Try not to deliberately challenge yourself, or let anyone else challenge you! 😓. Keep things simple and easy. We all know our limits inside but tend to ignore them, but avoid pushing yourself too hard which can lead to exhaustion, headaches, depression. So try to not push yourself too hard. Don’t be scared to let others know this too. Be true to yourself. 😉

4) De-clutter!!! ☺😲 With limited vision and a medicine regime with tiredness, sometimes looking for something at home can turn into a negative drama! 😒 Allow extra time when getting ready to go out, so that you can be relaxed. ☺ I’ve found that rushing now sends me into a panic and, focus quickly goes wrong. 😨 It’s simpler to just allow more time. Try to have homes for everything, (especially ladies in your handbag! 👜 😉) Always make sure important things are easy to find, for example eye drops, house keys. Just these little adjustments can make a day brighter and happier with less frustration. It will soon become a way of life.

5) One of the most difficult issues: dealing with eye pain, migraines and headaches.  Even with a nice healthy lifestyle we all know that migraines and headaches go hand in hand with glaucoma. 😡 As well as prescribed pain relief I’ve had great positive results with the help of:-

• "Kool ‘n Soothe” forehead masks. They are bliss! They last up to 6 hours and it’s a great feeling when one is placed on the forehead! ☺
•  Lavender oil is a wonderful soother for painful heads and also helps with sleep.
• Increase of magnesium is the diet (best example is 4 Brazil nuts daily).
• Drink lots and lots of water, especially at the onset of a migraine.
• Peppermint or ginger tea helps to soothe the digestive system, which does somersaults during migraines!
• Super foods for glaucoma sufferers include sweet potatoes, blueberries, carrots, eggs, nuts and yellow peppers.
• Take time out! 😥

6) When you look in the mirror, however you may feel and even on a ‘bad’ day; a few kind words to yourself can change your day. Positive affirmations really do work! 😄 Try to talk to yourself positively, “my eyes are beautiful”, “my eyes work hard!” 😎 “I am strong!” 🗽 Even if you don’t feel it, the good vibrations of those words will spread.

The strength involved in dealing with glaucoma makes us all very strong individuals!! Please remember this! ☺ Be kind to yourself. Stay calm. 😔 Operations, medicines and vision loss does not lessen the power and beauty of our eyes. Our eyes are all individual and beautiful. The calmer the mind, the more positive effects on the body. ☺ The optic nerve is part of our nervous system and brain, so try your best at all times to stay free from stressful situations and people. Smiles ☺ and a cheerful disposition work wonders! ☺ They have an uncanny way of reacting positively upon us. ☺ 

Niki De Lara – July 2017 💗

STAYING HEALTHY (Mental & Emotional)

I’ve thought long and hard about important issues that have helped me on any given day, which I would like to share. I know that when diagnosed, the challenges that one has to face daily can bring on a real feeling of loneliness. 😩 So if by sharing my experiences manages to help anyone who is reading; well that is one reason enough for starting this charity and website. ☺😎🌈

Why Me?

One of the most important issues is to always do your best to keep yourself full with as much positivity as you can. It’s very easy to ask questions to yourself as to: -

Why me? 😨

Why do I have to change my life so drastically? 😢

Why is everything now completely frustrating? 😠

Not to mention a feeling of total fear of the future. 😨

Moreover, the side effects from the eye drops which are needed to control pressure can often have a very negative effect on the mind and body. 😪 It’s wise to try to stay as healthy as you possibly can and to always think about what you have, rather than what you no longer have. Just a shift in thinking. Not easy at all, but well worth practising. Counting your blessings (in old –fashioned terms so to speak). It has made such a difference to my happiness and life. ☺

Be Positive – You’re Not Alone

And you’re not alone! 😎

There are millions of us suffering with glaucoma in varying degrees and in one form or another. We can be there to support each other. ☺☺☺ I found it best in the end, to talk of my condition to family and friends. It can be a very lonely place keeping the emotions surrounding this disease within yourself. Not to go looking for sympathy; but if only to express the sudden changes in one’s life and the reasons why; what glaucoma actually is and also to not feel ashamed in any way. 👀

Glaucoma can eat into your soul on a bad day, causing confusion, balance issues, eye pain and depression; along with side effects from the medicines. 😵 Just take some time out and really be kind to yourself and look after “you”. 😍

“You’ve just got to get on with it!”

Of course glaucoma can be incredibly tough and it’s very easy to feel sorry for oneself. 😪 But I have found it better to remain cheerful and think positive. ☺😎 My own dear Mum is 90 years old and lived through the war. Even now; although in a care home, suffering from Alzheimer’s, limited mobility and many difficult challenges associated with great age, she just says “Well you’ve just got to get on with it!” Just like she did in the war and throughout her life. I find this an inspiration and strive to apply this philosophy every day. ☺ 

Niki De Lara – July 2017 💗